BigTimeRossomeness
by ImTheAngel
Summary: Read it and laugh. :)


Los Angeles, California. Home, sweet, home. Ahhh… I missed that certain something always hanging in the air. It's sort a mix between false hope, crushed dreams, and too much perfume, cologne, make-up, and plastic surgery. The best thing about L.A., however, is that it has _life_.

News flash: Kingston, Utah plus Uncle Uncool and Aunt Lame equals bor0ing with a capital BORE.

Thank _God_ I'm home. If I would have spent one more day in the middle of nowhere squared, I most likely would have jumped in front of a tractor. Or maybe behind a horse. Nah. I would have chosen the tractor. Ya. Let's go with tractor.

I barely have both feet in the LAX when they're lifted off the ground by my life-long best friend, Justin Bieber. Oh, yeah. I'm _that_ fly. "Err. I missed you, Kyloto." He traded holding me for grabbing my bag.

That's me. Kylie Kyoto Keyes. (Call me KKK and you die.) I'm probably the only L.A. resident who has never had a fake tan, who's waist-length straight blonde hair has never been died, flat ironed, or extended, and who's face, body, and boobs are all natural.

And I still won every beauty pageant my mother shoved me into. Or _used_ to shove me into. Ever since my speech on how beauty pageants won a national award – and I read it in front of the president – she hasn't even _talked_ about beauty pageants. Maybe there is hope for mankind.

"I missed you, too, JuBi." I squished him in a sideways hug.

He chuckled. "Well, maybe you shouldn't break the law next time."

Eye roll. "How many times do I have to tell you? I didn't do anything. I was just the only one who had the balls to stick around."

"Mm-hm. Criminal."

I punched his arm hard enough that he stopped smiling. Yeah. Now I'm mad.

"Like you aren't." Yup. I went there.

We didn't speak as we navigated our way out of the airport

I couldn't take it anymore. I started walking backwards. "Look, J. I'm sorry. That w-"

He put his hand up to stop me. "No, Kylie. I started it. I deserved it. You didn't. it's more true for me than you."

I opened my mouth to say I don't know what, only to feel myself bump into someone. I turned around and almost passed out at the sight of the guy about two inches from my face.

"You – you're Ross Lynch."

He grinned and the guy next to him goes, "Well, don't we feel special?"

That's when I really looked at the other four.

"You're…" I looked at James. "And you're…" I passed my gaze to Carlos. "And you're…" My eyes landed on Logan. "And _you're_..." I checked Kendall out, then took them all in. "And together you're…"

Justin, Kendall, and Ross reached out to steady me. I know I probably looked like I was going to-

Whoop, there it is. The shock of Kendall freaking Schmidt actually touching me made me pass out.

* * *

I opened my eyes slowly. What do I see? )Flying pigs. That's what.) The five (maybe six, if he gets cleaned up) guys every girl wants to see when she wakes up. Because that's a good way for me _not_ to pass out again.

"You're alive!" It's amazing how Carlos can get _that_ many people to stare at us with two little words.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. I don't think she knew that," James says sarcastically. Well, I did think I was in heaven, but thanks for clearing that up.

"You're mean," Carlos pouts. (Can't you picture Carlos pouting?)

"You'll get over it." Kendall and James smile at my input. Justin just nods like, yup, she's fine.

"You okay?" Kendall puts his hand out and helps me up. Of course I would fall on him upon reaching solid ground vertically. Luckily, he's nice enough just to laugh and catch me around the waist. He's so cute when he looks worried.

"I am, now." Well, hello my inner _major_ flirt. Where did you come from?

He gazed back into my eyes with – if possible – an even more intense look than my own. Mm. He is so _fine_! "Well, that's good. It'd be a shame for someone as beautiful as you to be feeling bad.'

Oh my living spoons. Can I keep him?

I blush and stare at my feet. He lifts my chin so I look into those eyes of his again. He smiles and –

All the other guys start loudly clearing their throats.

You bunch of apricots.

"Hey, Kyloto, we gotta go, now." Justin would choose this moment. Butt munch.

"Non, nous n'avons pas."

"Yes. We do. And watch your French."

Don't challenge me, boy.

I reluctantly turned to face him, Kendall's arm still around my waist. "No. We don't." I glare at Justin when Kendall lets me go.

Ohhh, you are _so _dead.

"We gotta go, too."

James. You _really_ don't wanna mess with my happy moment.

"No, we don't." I knew there was a reason Kendall was my favorite.

Logan looks at his phone. "Um. Hate to break it to you, bro, but actually, we do."

Kendall groans then looks back at me. "You going to the concert tonight?"

"Umm… I d-"

"Yeah." Okay, I forgive you, JuBi.

Kendall beams at me. "Good. see you there." He kisses my cheek and chases after the guys.

I smiled at him as he walked away, looking over his shoulder every few feet. He blushes, waves bye, and turns the corner after almost running over some old lady. He's so cute when he's embarrassed.

Did I mention it's great to be home?

* * *

**A/N: Sorry about the Justin Bieber thing. I had to. Sorry, Justin, but if you're going to do epically stupid things, you better expect to get some harassment about it. And sorry BTR for putting such an idiot in your fanfic. :P**


End file.
